Let’s talk spoons. Yes. Actual spoons. Or at least what they stand for.
Now, the first time I heard someone say, “I just don’t have enough spoons,” I thought they were talking about their dishwasher. Or maybe they were short on cutlery because company had come over. I figured it was a quirky Canadian thing because two of my Canadian friends used to say it all the time.
“No spoons left today.”
“I cannot go out. My spoons are gone.”
And I would nod politely and act like I understood. I absolutely did not.
But somewhere along the way, I started saying it too. And now? I could teach a masterclass on spoon theory. And here’s why.
What Is the Spoon Theory?
The Spoon Theory was created by Christine Miserandino. She was trying to explain what it’s like to live with chronic illness, in her case, lupus. Sitting at a diner, she grabbed some spoons off the table to illustrate her point to a friend.
She said, “Imagine you only have a limited number of spoons each day. Every task you do, getting dressed, making breakfast, even answering an email, costs you a spoon or two. When you are out of spoons, you are out. You can’t push through it. You are done for the day.”
That visual stuck. Her friend finally understood. And so did everyone else who read the article she wrote about it. Since then, the spoon theory has taken off in the chronic illness and disability communities as a way to explain what it feels like to live with limited energy. But honestly, I think the idea works for just about anyone.
What Do Spoons Have to Do with You?
Even if you are not dealing with a health diagnosis, you can still have low-spoon days. Maybe you are tired from caregiving. Maybe your brain is on overload. Maybe you are stuck in decision fatigue or your emotions are just drained. That will use your spoons up real fast.
Some days you wake up with 12 spoons and you feel like you can take on the world. Other days, you get out of bed and realize you are working with four spoons and two of them are already spoken for. And we do not get to pick what kind of day it is. That part is out of our control.
But what we can control is how we spend the spoons we do have.
How Spoon Thinking Helped Me
Once I started thinking about my energy in spoons, it changed everything. I stopped being so mad at myself on days when I could not do it all. I realized it was not about laziness or lack of motivation. It was about how many spoons I actually had to work with.
I also started being more strategic. I would think, “Okay, this task is about two spoons. If I do that, what else can I still manage?” And sometimes I realized I could not do both the grocery store and deep-clean the kitchen. So I picked one. And I called it a win.
This theory also gave me new words to talk to people. If someone invited me to do something, instead of giving a long explanation about my energy, I could just say, “I’m low on spoons today.” It felt simple and honest.
Spoon Theory at Work
I use this idea with my clients all the time now. Especially those who deal with fatigue, stress, ADHD, chronic pain, or who are in a big life transition.
We talk about what costs a spoon. What restores a spoon. And how to spend your spoons on things that really matter.
I even talk about “sneaky spoon stealers.” Things like decision overload, arguing with yourself, multitasking, and even guilt. These all take up your energy and leave you with less for the things that count.
And sometimes, something small might cost you a big spoon. A five-minute phone call might be easy for someone else but feel like a mountain to you. That is okay. Spoon costs are personal. They change by the day. There is no chart. It is about self-awareness.
How to Use Spoon Theory in Real Life
Here is how I recommend you use this in your day:
✅ Start your morning by asking, “How many spoons do I have today?” Not how much time. Not how much pressure. How many spoons.
✅ Spend spoons on your priorities first. Don’t waste them on tasks that do not matter.
✅ Build in rest. Not after everything is done. Before you crash. Protect your last spoon.
✅ Speak spoon language. Tell your family or friends when you are low. Let them know what you can and cannot do. It helps everyone be on the same page.
✅ Reframe your success. If today’s win is brushing your teeth, drinking water, and folding two towels—good job. You spent your spoons with intention.
Final Thoughts from a Reformed Spoon Skeptic
Like I said, I thought it was a Canadian expression. Then I thought it was only for people with serious health conditions. But now I know better.
The Spoon Theory is not about being dramatic. It is about being honest.
It is a kind, clear way to measure your energy. And to learn to spend it like the valuable currency it is.
So whether you are walking through a tough season, navigating daily life with extra challenges, or just trying to manage your energy a little better—remember your spoons.
You only get so many in a day. Choose wisely. Spend them well. And do not apologize when you run out.
Live with intention,
Coach Linda 🐝
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