Because Sometimes the Only Person Around to Get You Moving is…You
Let’s be honest. It’s a whole lot easier to follow through on your plans when someone else is expecting you to. A trainer waiting at the gym. A friend coming over. A coach nudging you forward with just the right mix of tough love and support. But what happens when it’s just you?
No Zoom call. No deadline. No one peeking over your shoulder or sending you that “Hey, how’s it going?” message. Just you and your to-do list. Maybe even your sweatpants. (Let’s not judge the sweatpants.)
This is where we’ve got to dig into one of the trickiest skills in the book. The art of coaching yourself.
Now don’t worry. I’m not about to tell you to start yelling affirmations in the mirror or bark orders at yourself like a bootcamp instructor. Coaching yourself is not about pretending to be someone else. It’s about learning how to show up for yourself in a way that actually works. That helps you get things done even when the couch is calling your name.
Let’s break it down.
Step 1: Know What You’re Really Up Against
First things first. If you’re not doing what you said you were going to do, it’s not because you’re lazy or broken or hopeless. It’s because something’s getting in your way.
Maybe it’s perfectionism whispering that if you can’t do it right, you shouldn’t do it at all. Maybe it’s decision fatigue after a long day. Or maybe your brain is just plain tired and needs a snack.
When you coach yourself, you’ve got to start with compassion. Ask, “What’s going on here?” not “What’s wrong with me?” You’ll get a lot further with curiosity than with criticism.
Step 2: Get Clear on What “Success” Means Right Now
It’s hard to coach yourself forward if you don’t know where forward actually is.
Ask yourself, “What do I want to get done today?” And here’s the kicker—be realistic. If you’ve got thirty things on your list and you’re running on fumes, then your win for the day might be getting one or two things done with focus and intention. That counts.
Success doesn’t have to be shiny or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it’s unloading the dishwasher before noon or finally throwing out that expired yogurt. Give yourself credit for what is getting done instead of spiraling over what isn’t.
Step 3: Use the Tools You’d Use on Someone Else
Imagine someone came to you and said, “I want to be better at managing my time, but I just can’t seem to follow through.”
What would you say to them?
You’d probably ask some questions. You’d help them simplify the plan. You might suggest setting a timer or writing out the next tiny step. You would not tell them they’re doomed because they didn’t start before 10am.
So why not offer that same kind of grace to yourself?
Grab a sticky note. Write down the one thing you’re going to do next. Set a timer for 15 minutes. And then—this part is important—notice what happens. Are you moving forward? Are you getting stuck again? Good. Now you’ve got data. Now you’re coaching.
Step 4: Stay Out Loud (Even If It’s Just in Your Head)
Here’s a weird little tip that works like magic. Talk to yourself. Out loud.
I’m serious. If you catch yourself spiraling or zoning out, say, “Alright. Time to put the laundry in.” Or “Let’s do five minutes on this and see what happens.”
When we narrate what we’re doing, we gently bring our focus back to the present. It’s like being your own narrator and accountability buddy all in one.
You don’t have to be poetic. You just have to be present.
Step 5: Don’t Forget the Pep Talk
When no one else is around to say “Good job,” you better believe you’ve got to do it yourself.
Celebrate your wins. All of them. Took out the recycling? That’s progress. Sorted one drawer? That’s movement. You don’t have to wait until everything’s perfect to feel proud.
And if you hit a wall or have a day where nothing goes right, don’t pile shame on top of that. Try something like, “Okay, today was hard. That’s alright. Let’s try again tomorrow.”
Treat yourself like someone worth encouraging. Because you are.
Final Thoughts
Self-coaching doesn’t mean pretending you have it all figured out. It means caring enough to pause, ask questions, and guide yourself toward a better day. Even when no one’s clapping. Even when it’s messy. Even when you’d rather eat cereal and scroll your phone.
And here’s a little secret—every time you show up for yourself, you build trust. The kind of trust that says, “I’ve got me. I’m not perfect, but I keep going.”
So go ahead. Be your own best coach. You’ve got everything you need.
Live with intention,
Coach Linda 
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