Now there is a question that can make your brain feel like it is doing cartwheels. I could say yes to both parts and call it a day, but let’s unpack this a bit more because it is actually a fascinating thing to think about. And I promise, no philosophy degree required to follow along.
Let’s start with the first part. Are we who we are because of the actions we take? I think there is a lot of truth to this. After all, what we do each day adds up over time. If we take small, kind actions regularly, we become known as kind people. If we choose to practice patience, even when we want to scream into a pillow, we become more patient. Our actions shape our habits, and our habits shape our character. Little by little, what we do writes the story of who we are.
Think about someone who decides to show up early for work every day. That person starts to be seen as reliable. Not because they were born with an early-bird personality, but because their consistent actions created that identity. The same goes for decluttering. A person who chooses to spend ten minutes a day clearing out their space becomes someone who lives in a tidier home. The small steps define the bigger picture over time.
But here is where it gets interesting. Flip it around, and we can ask, do we take the actions we do because of who we are? Well, yes, that is true too. Our personality, values, and beliefs guide many of our choices. If you are someone who values honesty, you probably find yourself telling the truth even when it would be easier not to. If you see yourself as a generous person, you are likely the one who shares the last cookie or helps a neighbor carry in their groceries.
Who we believe we are tends to guide what we do. We have this inner compass that points us toward certain actions that feel like “us.” And when we stray from that, it feels off. That is why someone who sees themselves as peaceful might regret snapping at someone. It does not fit with their sense of self.
So here we are with both sides holding some truth.
Our actions shape us, and our sense of who we are shapes our actions. It is not an either-or. It is more of a circle. One feeds into the other, over and over. We take an action. That action reinforces our identity. Our identity encourages more of those actions. And around we go.
This is actually good news. Why? Because it means we have power. We are not stuck with who we were yesterday. We can choose actions today that start shaping us into who we want to become.
You want to be a person who is organized? Start with one small organizing task. You want to be someone who follows through? Complete one thing you promised yourself you would do. These choices nudge your identity in a new direction.
And at the same time, when you remind yourself of the kind of person you already are or want to be, it helps you make better choices. Let’s say you tell yourself, I am someone who takes care of my space. That reminder can give you that extra push to put the dishes in the sink instead of leaving them on the table. Our brain likes to act in ways that match up with our identity, so use that to your advantage.
Of course, none of this means we have to be perfect. We are all human. Some days our actions are going to line up with the person we want to be, and some days they are going to look more like a blooper reel. That is okay. What matters is that we keep going. That we keep choosing actions that move us closer to the version of ourselves we want to see in the mirror.
It is also worth pointing out that life gives us opportunities to grow through both action and reflection. We can look at the actions we have taken and ask, is this who I want to be? And if not, what small step can I take today to move in the right direction? We can also look at our sense of self and ask, what kind of actions would match up with the person I want to be proud of?
When you put the two together, you have a pretty powerful formula for growth. You have the ability to act your way into a new identity. And you have the ability to think your way into new actions. The two work hand in hand, or maybe hand in glove, depending on whether you are feeling fancy today.
So if you have ever wondered which comes first, who you are or what you do, the answer is yes. Yes to both. They are tied together like two ends of the same ribbon. The real magic happens when you use that connection on purpose. When you stop waiting for the perfect mood or the perfect identity to show up first.
Instead, you choose one small action that lines up with the kind of person you want to be. And then you let that action help shape your next choice. And the next. Before you know it, you have created not just better habits, but a stronger sense of self that you can feel good about.
And that, my friend, is where the beauty lies. We are not just passengers in this journey of who we are becoming. We are the ones steering the ship, one action at a time.
Leave a Reply